Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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