I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
