yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
