We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
