508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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