Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just want to make out with him forever
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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