sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
