Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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