I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
