How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
