Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
