Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
