i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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