3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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