I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize