i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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