My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Randomize
