ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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