If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
