He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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