ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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