I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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