Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
