dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
