Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
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MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
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But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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