There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
