whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
