Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
