yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.