Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(519): View more from Ontario

He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest

Fav 47 1762 6030
share tweet
(972): View more from Texas

So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.

Fav 40 5872 1680
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(252): View more from North Carolina

after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?

Fav 30 1762 5137
share tweet
(732): View more from New Jersey

I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.

Fav 48 5128 2119
share tweet
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(847): View more from Illinois

Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?

(312): View more from Illinois

I get to be your mom.

Fav 11 4056 1726
share tweet
(210): View more from Texas

when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"

Fav 7 1878 854
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(574): View more from Indiana

HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT

Fav 4 1264 904
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.

Fav 0 569 650
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(606): View more from Kentucky

I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.

Fav 0 523 428
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT