We're facebook friends in real life
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
