And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.