i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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