Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
