Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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