youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
