i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
