great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
