I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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