I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
