its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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