he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
