remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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