In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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