why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
