I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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