Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
