tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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