id be glad to
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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