hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
