where am i from again
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
