my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
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