I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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