Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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