you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
my shit smells like andre
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
