"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The Olympian is in my bed
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
