you have to choose: penises or morals?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
