i don't like sucking hair
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
