That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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