you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize