my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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