Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
