More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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