tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
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