Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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