My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
